Commonly Used Phrases at the Office and... What they really mean!

1) For your information, please.  (FYI)      
>>We don't know what to do with this, so please keep  it.  

2) Noted and returned.    
>>We don't know what to do with this, so please keep it  little while.  

3) Review and  comment.      
>>Do the dirty work so that I can forward it.  

4) Action please.      
>>Get yourself  involved for me. Don't worry, I'll claim the credit.  

5) For your necessary action.      
>>It's your headache now.  

6) Copy to.      
>>Here's  a share of the headache.

7) For your  approval, please.      
>>Put your neck on the chopping board for me please.  

8) Action is being taken.    
>>Your correspondence is lost and we a re still trying to locate it.  

9) Your letter is receiving our  attention.      
>>We are still trying to figure out what you  want.

10) Please discuss.      
>>>I don't know what the "f***" this is, so please brief me.  

11) For your immediate action.   
>>>Do it NOW!  Or we'll all get into trouble.

12) Please reply  soon.        
>>>Please be efficient. It makes me look  inefficient.  

13) We are investigating/processing your request with the relevant authories
>>>They are causing the delay not us!

14) Regards.        
>>>Thanks for reading all the bullshit.