I've recieved a sad piece of news this morning and it makes me feel like shite...

I mean one can never feel good hearing the love ones of your friends pass away, let alone this is a close one...

Suddenly it got me thinking, what will happen if one day Daddy or ma pass away???

I'll be so torn up... its like a part of me has been ripped away and whats left is only memories...

Seriously I don't think I can take that. Look at how i dealt with yeye's death... I took so long to accept the fact and even up till today I still dream of him and long to be by his side.

Even though we were living seperately, but our relationship never drift apart. It was strong and loving.

Whats more if the deceased is staying with you. You see him/her day in day out...

Our family has been a close-knit one and we spend a lot of times together, as all may know Sunday is regarded as my family day.

I guess it was only a few years back when it suddenly dawn on me that I've been spending so little time with my family.

My weekends were usually packed with activities... I can meet up the same group of friends 3-4 times a week and I dun even have a decent meal with my family.

I would leave home early in the morning and only return wee hours. Literally home was like a hotel to me. Naturally scolding was unavoidable...

Its only when mum fell sick once and it scare the shite outta me. I thought I might lose her and then I realize I was too engrosed in my own fun that I neglected my family.

If she was gone, what memories have I got of her?

And when I looked at yeye and grams, I realize they ain't young anymore and one day they will leave us.

Thats when I've decided that no matter how active I was at sports, Sunday should never be taken away from them.

I can party all I want during the weekdays and Saturday, but Sunday, there shouldn't be any activities. Even when I party till Sunday morning and I only slept for a few hours, I still make the effort to accompany them.

Daddy was on shift work and Kor at that time was still in F&B industry thus his weekends were normally burned, thus I was the only one left to spend the Sunday with Daddy and ma.

You can see the glow in their eyes when you spend time with them. Even if its a simple meal or accompany them to shop.

Human are pathetic bunch. They will only start to regret when something tragic happen. So much so that they can't do anything to salvage the situation and be buried with guilt.

We always take things for granted thinking that other owns you a living and what they do for you is rightfull. Thats because they love you thus the sacrifices.

Looking back at the incident that happened to me, only makes me stronger. To a certain extend I'm glad they happen to me, or else I would never realize that the ones who love me most has always been right by my side and not those who claimed to be my "best friend"

I learn to love my parent more especially ma.

During my teenage years, I often thought that she was bias against me coz I'm not a boy. No matter what I did, she wasn't statisfied.

Then it was only after the bloody incident that I realize, I was so wrong. She loves me as much as she loves kor.

Those who knows me well you know that I protect my parents. Whoever does harm to them or bully them will get hell from me.

Remember the aunty who embarrased ma in the public saying she is very skinny and malnutrition. And in the end I made her apologies to ma...

I'm a bloody bitch towards these pple. I hate it seeing pple gloating at others' misery and unhappiness. They have to rub salt into the wound.

To those who:

1) aren't spending enuff time with your love ones, life is short, time dun wait, dun ever end up regretting that you should have spend more time with them.

2) who aren't talking to your love ones, deep down, they still love you. There must be some misunderstanding that causes the current situation. Pluck up the courage and solve them.

Daddy and ma, I love you...

p/s: to those whose love ones have left them, who lostt the battle to sickness.... No, they didn't, God took them with him coz he can't bear to see them suffer under the devil's work. He took them to a place without suffering, judgement, pain and unhappiness...


pp/s: I can't help but to post a heavy entry...theres this urge deep in me that I want to share my thoughts with you guys... if not whats a blog for...