Monday, August 22, 2005

To creat a new possibility in life

I'm back from Landmark Forum.

The journey was rewarding, fulfulling and inspriing.

I feel that I've been given a new lease of life.

It feels like now I'm begining to write the first chapter in my life. For the past 22 years, everything that happen to me a draft which was filled with untrue, pretentious story that I wrote to cover each and every incident.

I see the transfomation in myself and am glad that I've took up this journey.

Through the forum, I am touched, moved and inspire by the possiblities that one can creat.

The life story that everyone shared during the forum was a wake up call. All along we humans have been living life as a story. We are never contended.

We try so hard to aaccomplish things and to be successful and failed to realize that the more we do that empty we feel.

Now, I understand th reasons that build up my character all this while and because of all these strong suit that I created to protect myself, it affected my relationship with my family, friends and love life.

I give up the fear, story and strong suit that has been stuck with me all this years, complete with it and move on...

My previous entry about the issue with Mit, Bam was right, he came back and I fell into the same pithole again. I called him last night and I completed my issue with him and I am happy.

Remember all this while my relationship with kor that hasn't been going well? I talked to him on Saturday night. I gave up the story that I've created about him and and admit to him that all this while, I made him look bad so that I can look good.

I made the possibility that I am honest and trueful to him and a new relationship together.

I see things in a different persepctive without bringing in judgement.

Life is nothing and meangingless, and this is it. I begin to understand that we make the choose and not decision.

Desicion is made base on reason while Choice is made base on choice. When we make a choice, the choice becomes ours; we are responsible to it and this is it...as though theres is no tomorrow.

With that we can enjoy every moment of it and not view it as a chore. We are able to ace in it naturally.

My graduation will be this Tuesday evening and I'm totally excited about it.

The possibility that I have created for myself and my life is the possiblity of being honest and happy in every aspect of my life.

1hrs after this entry....

Recieved a sms from Mit...

surprised...

He was touched by what I told me and he admit that it was his lifestyle and that he was unwilling to commit to any relationship. What I said was true...he just want to satisfy himself. And he thank me for the reminder...

I was touched. i didn't know my words has such great effect on people.

I knew Mit for a while, never once I heard him saying such sentimental words...

I guess what Allain said in the forium is true. You juz need to said what you feel and not paint any story to cover your tracks and to look good. This is insuthenticity.

Human being are always so concerned about how they people look at them and failed to communicate truefully.

I believe both of us can work towards a better friendship...

Cheerios...

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